visit day

Hi,
Today our little girl had to go downtown for a visit. Very tough for me to put her in a stranger's car (case worker)and send her off. What must she be thinking? She came back in 3 hours and we loved her up a lot.
Andy Bob is getting excited about Special Olympic bowling that starts next week. It's all he's talking about. It doesn't matter that my niece is getting married Saturday. It pales in comparison.
Carrie caught Andy and our little princess arguing and Princess hit Andy's leg so Andy shoved her! He had to come in and explain what went on and he told me SHE started it! Oh boy! Luckily he was gentle but I had to explain why we don't hit little people. I wish we could convince more grown-ups that these are the rules and no exceptions!
My husband has a degenerative bone disease and gets treatments every 4-6 weeks. It's and IV TX that takes 4 hours and makes him very tired and sick. It costs $12,000 each time too! Luckily our insurance pays every time.
I hate to see him so miserable. He's only 46 and has been on full disability for 12 years. When people see him they just see a guy who's young, 6'8" tall and on some days he looks normal. People unknowingly make comments like, "Boy I wish I could retire ay your age!" "What a slacker!", etc.
It's difficult to go to a bible study where we have to meet new people and we have to explain our odd family and people always ask, "What do you do for a living?" or "Got any grandkids?"
"What do your kids do for a livin g?" I don't like joining stuff but that makes it worse.
I'd bewtter get this little love muffin ready for bed now.
Love, Janly

Through Andy Bob's eyes

I wanted to tell people a little bit about my youngest, Andybob. He was the cutest baby with golden curls and chubby cheeks. He was always such a good baby too.
When I took him in for his 1st year check-up I asked the dr. why he wasn't sitting on his own yet. He looked at him a little closer, measured his head and frowned. Said he would make him an appointment on the hill at "Crippled Children's" (They were not pc in those days). My husband made sure he had court that day (he was a cop, so I took my mother-in-law for support. It was terrible. They took him away for 4 hours and brought him back crying. I had no idea what they did to him but a team of doctors took turns checking him out.
They put us in this room with a table and one dr. came in, took a deep breath and told us he was retarded. Goode thing the tqable was between me and the dr. or I might have chocked him! I cried and said he was too cute to be retarded. He explained that you don't have to be ugly to be retarded. My head was spinning. I thought I was going to throw up. My mother-in-law just held Andy tighter.
I'll write more later about our first days and years of Andy Bob but I thought I'd let you read the poem I wrote for him last year to let you know what a blessing he's been in our lives.
Through Andy Bob's Eyes
"Your baby's retarded", I heard the doctor say.
His lefe will be different in so many ways.
I kept thinking of all the things my son couldn't do.
How could God cheat him, I hadn't a clue.
But as Andy got older I got to see
What it's like to be joyful and truly stress free.
To see only good in people, to be generous and kind.
Looking forward to each day and be happy all the time.
Where Santa and the Easter Bunny are still so very real.
Where he never loses the excitement of the "Christmas morning" thrill.
To have no schedules or deadlines to meet.
No squabbles, tensions or quotas to beat.
Still wanting to be tucked in with hugs and kisses.
Dreaming of Harleys, Blockbuster & birthday wishes.
Where his biggest decision is Skittles or gum drops
Seeing everything how he sees it has taught me a lot.
God sent me and angel and I didn't realize
How the world looks so much better through Andy Bob's eyes.

Jan, July 31st, 2007

my little blessing

Hi all,
Well, I begged the foster mom of my favorite 2 year old and said we all needed a Nonnie fix! She is our favorite little princess and we will have her for a week. She will probablt be adopted around Christmas and we will all be devastated.
We went shopping and the to McD's for chicken nuggets and apple slices with carmel. I didn't know that you could put ketchup on apples or carmel on nuggets but she seemed to enjoy the different flavors. She sort of shared a strawberry sundae with Carrie and we practiced saying, "My turn" instead of whinning and pointing. She even gave me a bite!
Grandma was fussing and fuming because Nonnie got ketcchup on her shirt! Oh my word! The world will certainly come to an end now!
Nonnie and gma took a long nap when we got home and both were in a better mood when they woke up.
I will cherish our time together. I wish I could use Jesus's quote and say, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them..." I'll take them all!
Gamma Janly : )

A little history

This is my first blog entry. I'm nervous & my wrist is broken. I have to have my kid type for me.

A little history now: I was married to Mark for 6 years. He was a policeman in Canby. We had two kids. Carrie then Andy Bob.

We found out that Andy Bob was retarded when he was 1, that was the first crack in the road. The second was when Mark was killed in 1979 leaving me a widow at 25 with my kids at 4 1/2 & 2 1/2.

I was in a state of shock and had very low self esteem. I met another policeman & got married two years later. I didn't know him very well & I had also turned my back on God.

We were married a year & then I left him because of his addiction to porn etc.

When Andy Bob was five we found out he has Retinitis Pigmentosa. It's a degenerative eye disease where he will eventually be blind. This was crack #3.

I found out later that my kids had been abused by husband #2. I never thought I would thank God that Andy Bob was retarded but he couldn't remember any of the abuse. Carrie, however has lifetime scars from this. I feel that as the mother I had failed them miserably. I still grieve over my mistakes. I didn't know about the abuse until Carrie was 11 & told. This of course was crack #4.

We've all worked on forgiveness & healing since then.

I told God that I would remain single for the rest of my life but He had other plans, "BIG" ones. His name is Dan & he is 6' 8" & wears size 18 shoes. He is as gentle as he is tall. He was an answer to prayer that I wasn't even praying about. We met through friends from Church. Andy Bob loved him at first sight & vice versa. Carrie on the other hand took a bit longer but by God's grace she came around. We've been married for 16 1/2 years & going strong!

I forgot to mention that my Mother had been living with us & helping raise my kids & was going to move out when we were getting married. Dan had other ideas. He wanted us to be like the Walton's. Poor Dan went from being a bachelor to being a husband of two wives & two kids. With God's help & a lot of humor we've made it work!

Since this was a little draining for my first post I'll write more later & I promise there will be more humor to come. That's it!!